Help for the journey

An Overview: The biggest challenge for the survivor of R itualistic Sexual Abuse  is that they have experienced a profound shattering of their inner world. The level and degree of this type of perpetration is hard to comprehend for the average person, as it is incomprehensible that someone who sadistically harm a child in such a manner, and is inconceivable that a person could perpetrate such evil and inflict such trauma and terror into the heart of a child. This kind of abuse ( always involving rape, while other malicious things are done at the same time ) is perpetrated repeatedly, over a prolonged period of time ( usually years ), with a perpetrator who not only has consistent access to the victim, but also a deviant, sadistic and malevolent personality, who does unspeakably horrible things to the victim without any remorse or empathy, and who threatens the victim with serious harm and/or harm to a loved one should the victim try to resist. The rape victim is too youn

I was recently asked that question by a good, sincere young woman, who found herself feeling stuck, intensely frustrated, discouraged, and fighting waves of depression over the back-and-forth, hot-and-cold, on-again/off-again behavior of her boyfriend, who would say very hurtful things her, then act like it was "water under the bridge" after he calmed down or had a few drinks. My answer to her was: A:  That is something that confuses a lot of people, and therefore keeps them stuck. Simply put, we are not responsible for what we were given (or what was done to us), but we are responsible for what we do with it. So, it is tempting to buy the line that selfish people count on that says, "Hurt-people (wounded) hurt people." While, yes, we all can be reactive at times, and even have a bad day. However, that is far different from a lifetime of acting that way toward others, stemming from cultivating and nursing a disposition that permits the emotional spewing