Priorities for a Successful Life






I had heard that parents look back and wonder where the time went, as they launch their last child from the nest. Well, having just experienced that, I can attest to the reality of how the years can pass by all too quickly, as my youngest son just graduated from high school. What an experience it was for me to reflect on all those years! Wow, where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that he and I walked hand-in-hand on the beach, his little hand in mine, as we negotiated the waves as they would cover his tiny feet with foam?

Well, this is what I tried to prepare myself for... the moment I would release him as a young adult, into a world that is so filled with promise, yet has so many potential pitfalls and temptations. So, as I purchased a journal for him as a graduation gift, and sat down to pen some thoughts... some fatherly advice I wished I had received from my dad. I wanted to share some of the things I believe he would need to know... some fatherly advice, to help him gain a sense of perspective on what is really most important in life, to help ensure he might someday be able to look back on his own life without regrets. 

The following are those "Priorities for a successful life" I penned in the beginning of his journal:

  1.   Strive to follow the Lord in all you do.   He is your highest and best priority, so submit to Him completely, and make His word your most cherished possession.  Prov. 3:5-6
  2.   Live a life of integrity.  It will take years to establish, can be destroyed in one moment of time, and will be the key to your witness and fruitfulness.  Prov. 2:1-8
  3. Always assume responsibility for treating people the right way, regardless the cost.  A man after God’s own heart is one who deeply cares about the hurts, needs, and rights of others.  Prov. 2:9-11, Phil. 4:5
  4. Receive difficulties as the Lord’s primary method of refining and growing your character.  You are the most impervious to Satan’s tactics when you “count it all joy” that the affliction you are going through is for character “strength training” and for His purposes, someday to be revealed to you by your Heavenly Commander-in-Chief.  Live to hear Him say, “Well done,” for nothing else will matter then.  Jn. 15:1-2, Psa. 105:18-19
  5. Be ready to step in to do the right thing on behalf of those being oppressed by selfish people.  The world will turn a blind eye to injustice, yet God’s man will step up on behalf of those being negatively impacted by injustice.  We cannot save everyone, but the Lord calls us to be ready and willing should the situation arise.  Prov. 31:8-9, Isa. 59:15-18, Isa. 63:4-5 
  6. Be quick to admit when you are wrong, and do what you can to set things right, if at all possible.  If you said or did something that was either selfish or hurtful, or if you failed to keep your word or to do the right thing, be quick to own it.  Other people will respect you all the more for being a big enough man to humble yourself to acknowledge the truth.  Prov. 14:9, Mt. 5:23-24
  7. Enthusiasm is one of the most prized of all character qualities of a Christian, for the literal rendering of the word is “God within.”  Inseparable from joy (a settled sense of quiet confidence that the Lord will be your strength in the midst of the storm or desert), enthusiasm is the optimism that results from knowing that God is with you to work in you His desires, as He moves you closer to the purpose for which He made you. Psa. 144:1, 15
  8. Be sensible about life’s responsibilities; however, don’t lose sight of the fact that BIG dreams are almost always the result of a willingness to take BIG risks.  Certainly different from presumption, risking BIG means that you set your sails for uncharted shores if that is where the Lord is calling you- even if others tell you otherwise.  Do your homework, seek wise counsel, seek His direction through His word and prayer….and then go for it, if there is no compelling reason not to!  It may get messy for some time, but the payoff will be worth the effort.  Prov. 14:4
  9. Our lives are to be characterized by grace and truth.  A good rule of thumb is 55% Grace/45% Truth; and truth will let grace prevail during times when I am not completely sure if the other person acted selfishly or irresponsibly.  Eph. 4:2 
  10. “No life ever grows great unless it is dedicated focused, and disciplined.” H. S. Fosdick  Purpose to do the hard thing, for as long as it takes.  Keep your eye on the prize and the upward calling, and keep pressing toward the finish line.  Use the lessons you have learned from your training in track, the modeling you have seen from me, the truths you heard from such men as James MacDonald and John MacArthur and stay the course.  Isa. 50:7
  11. If you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, do it sooner rather than later.  In fact, try to schedule it by the end of the day.  If you have been wrong, do the hard thing—ADMIT IT! And do so quickly.  It will open the person’s heart and the Lord’s ears to your prayer once again (Mt5:21-26).  If you need to confront (“to put in front of them”), do so with wisdom, with an eye toward the Lord using you to help mend a broken character.  Eph. 4:15, Mt. 18:15, Gal. 6:1, Eph. 4:26
  12. Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is to take a nap.  Fatigue and time pressure can erode our ability to be effective, reasonable, and adequately prepared to deal with stress and temptation.  So, if you or others notice the circles under your eyes, your distractibility, and/or your irritability, try to stop what you’re doing and get some sleep.  Mk. 6:31
  13. Know when to respond to a fool and when to simply leave it alone.  A person who is steeped in selfishness will always try to suck you in to “Dance” with them.  For them, getting you into the mud with them (in their pig pen) is their sport.  Do not engage with them to prove a point, or to help them “see the light” for they don’t care about either.  Simply keep it short, knowing they will always need to have the last word.  And, limit any future interaction with them.  Prov. 26:4-5
  14. The best thing to do with a pouting, sulking, snarky person is to let them “stew in their own juices.”  A selfish person has become a selfish person because others have attempted to pacify them and their never-ending “needs.”  Once they selfish person doesn’t get his/her way, they use their anger overtly or covertly to get others to give in to them.  The best thing you can do is provide them with all the “alone time” they require until they finally grow up or go away.  Prov. 19:19
  15. Whenever you’ve done or said something foolish or hurtful, it is always due to one of two things:  Anxiety or Hurtfulness (i.e. Selfishness.)  Typically, it is a combination of both, but one more than the other.  If it was primarily out of anxiety, then seek to find out why you ignored your intuition.  If it was the result of your own selfishness and ego, seek to find out why you ignored your conscience.  Either way, re-establish healthy and reasonable boundaries, and speak the truth in love.  Psa. 139:23-24, Eph. 5:15 
  16. In your dealing with others, it is more important to be accurate than “right.”  If I must make the other person see my point at all cost so they admit that I am “right,” I may have won the battle but lost the war.  If there is life and death in the tongue (Prov. 18:21), then I need to be strategic in what I say so that the person will be impacted at the point of their need by both grace and truth—for better or for worse—after they leave me.  Psa. 19:14, 1 Thess. 5:11
  17. Always lead by example.  People will know about my priorities and my theology to the extent that I am always willing to take out the trash without being asked (or other tasks that appear menial).  Never become so big that you are too big to help with the small stuff.  Your spouse and co-workers will thank you, and your kids will emulate you.  Mt. 5:13-16, Phil. 2:1-11
  18. Remember that the meaning of “kindness” is “usefulness” and “gentleness.”  If love is patient and kind (1 Cor. 13:4), then the measure of my love is just how useful and thoughtful I am to another person.  In my dealings with others, do I lighten their load or add to their burden and stress?  Eph. 5:1-2
  19. Never be so agenda-driven that you miss someone in need right next to you.  Life has a way of getting us so focused on pressing matters, that we run the risk of missing someone the Lord might want us to see.  Lk. 8:40-48
  20. Make sure your kids leave your home remembering more of the sound of your laughter than of your “pearls of wisdom.”  Of course, every parent should and must teach wisdom to his/her kids; however, if that home was devoid of a good sense of humor and the ability and freedom to let loose with laughter, then they will lay your wisest words aside when they “leave the nest,” for they were liking for God’s heart in your smile….and simply never saw it.  No other part of Go’s creation can laugh, since we were designed with the ability to laugh and play.  Show them that aspect of God’s heart and they will want what you have.  Prov. 17:22, Psa. 66:1, Psa. 95:1-2, 2 Cor. 9:6-7



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